I haven't wanted to do any of the usual stuff lately... I haven't wanted to take pictures, read my books, watch movies, go out to my favorite restaurants, or hang out with friends. I haven't wanted to write on the blog. I've tried; this is the third attempt to write a blog post in the last 2 weeks. I pull up the blank page and stare at it for awhile, and then leave it open on my computer for a day or two before giving up. Sometimes I'll get my normal aspirations to do the things I love; I'll plan a fancy meal I want to make, or make tentative plans with friends. But when it comes time to actually do those things, I want to back down.
I'm not sure exactly what it is! I've been this way for a few weeks; I am not sure if it's the fact that I haven't been able to run for 10 weeks (total drag, btw) or the fact that I just finished up a really rough semester, wrought with tough classes, high demands in my position for the rowing team, and a few personal crises along the way. Maybe it's my anxiety about my upcoming wisdom teeth-removal (1 month away... and not sure why I'm so nervous!). Or maybe I'm having an existential crisis since I'm turning 21 in 47 days or something crazy like that. Maybe it's none of those things! Or maybe it's all of them, working as a tour de force against my usual level of positivity. Usually I have quite the zest for life and I'm always busy, always planning, always on the go. Lately it's been hard for me to keep up with that; I feel like I want to be alone, I'm listless, and I'd rather hide under my covers as much as possible. (Of course, this leaves me also feeling miserable, because it's lonely and boring.)
Basically, I've just been sad lately. I've been in a funk. Which is why I haven't been posting (plus, as I've said many times before, this semester has really not allowed for a lot of blogging time). For me, this blog isn't the place to complain or unload my problems; this is supposed to be a positive space where people can read about travel, fun recipes, rowing, and lots of running. Today is Saturday, and I just got home last Friday evening, so I've been home for a week. In the last few weeks, (apart from final exams!) I've been working on physical therapy so that I can get back running. I've been doing a lot of the elliptical and rowing machine. Not sure which one I prefer. Now that I'm back at home, I plug in my speakers to my computer so I can watch Netflix on my computer while I'm on the rowing machine. I row about 7,000-8,000 meters (4-5 miles) per day. This has kept me focused, and let me sweat out some of my stresses. Still, apart from that, I've just been doing what my brain/body feels like it wants to do right now. I'm barely 1 week out from finishing my final exams, and my mind and body are still reeling from the stress of taking 5 exams and studying for too many hours per day. Mostly, I've just wanted to sit quietly. A lot of the time, I do nothing. I keep my phone in air plane mode a lot of the time now, and save all my messages for brief intervals in the day when I take time to answer them. I've watched a lot of the Kardashians in the last 5 days, too. I've started a few books, which I'll review when I'm done! I've tied up a lot of loose ends (with my exec position on my rowing team, as well as little things like answering emails, sending my broken phone case back for a new one - free! - and ordering/wrapping holiday gifts). I know that soon I'll be out of my weird funk and back to doing things with lots of energy and excitement. I'm just not there yet, so I'm trying to listen to what my mind needs to do to get there. Right now, it's been needing a huge break.
I have been spending a lot of time doing all of the normal holiday stuff with my family. We got our Christmas tree a week ago. It came out beautifully!
Hot chocolate is a holiday must-have for me.
We ventured downtown on a double date with some friends earlier this week. Checked out the old Arcade in all it's holiday grandeur.
We headed to the Chocolate Bar for desert and had some chocolate mousse cake...it was amazing.
I'm working on a post on my physical therapy activities... I think some of the stuff I'm working on can benefit all women - especially if you're active - because most of us have natural weakness in our hips! So I can show you what I'm working on for that. Also some recipes are in the queue. I don't have very much going on in the next 6 weeks and a big part of my goal for that time is getting some regular blogging back in the works. Talk to you soon - I promise!
